Train Unfair

Last Friday on my commute home, I was sitting on the subway reading. There was an empty seat next to me, and at one of the stops a guy sat next to me. In my peripheral vision I noticed that as he was sitting in such a way that neither our shoulders nor legs would come in contact. Here is what I was thinking (while reading):

Wow, I can't believe how considerate this guy is. I can't remember the last time I shared a 2-person subway seat with a guy who kept to himself so nicely. Maybe he's a big, shy, nerdy teenager who's still got some manners. Or maybe he's just a little bit simple, like Forrest Gump. I don't care what his deal is, I'm just so glad I didn't get a stinker or a spreader this time.

A few stops later he stood up to get off the train, and I couldn't resist a peek at this unusually polite guy. And it turned out to be a woman. A tall, kind of bigger woman with short hair. And instantly I realized that's why I was so wowed by my seat partner's posture. Because even though I had (understandably) assumed it was a guy, the energy just didn't feel masculine.

Men and women behave so differently in the subway. There are, of course, exceptions to the rule, but in general men act like they own the seat beneath their buns plus all the space on either side as far as they can spread their legs open, whereas women tend to sit in a way that makes it easier and nicer for other people to take a seat as well.

Of course anyone who rides the subway on even a semi-regular basis notices this, but I was really impressed by the fact that even when my logical mind believed the person next to me was male, my intuition could tell that it was a female.

Then yesterday on my commute home I was sitting across from this little middle-aged Asian woman with a big shopping bag between her feet. A short, stocky Hispanic guy got on the train and sat next to her, and I wish I'd had an invisible video camera with me to capture what happened next. He sat down, not caring that his arms and shoulders were touching the people on either side of him. The woman was wearing a long skirt and he had apparently sat on part of it, because she started tugging at it, and squirming, and making faces, and trying to edge over in her seat. The guy just sat there, completely nonplussed, as she got fussier and angrier and eventually stood up, stormed out, and moved to the next car. He sat there placidly as if she had never been there at all. It was this 30-second drama that completely encapsulated this ongoing subway conflict between the genders.

The thing is, men don't mind if they're pressed up against a (usually smaller, better-smelling, better-looking) woman. Women tend to mind very much when a man is all up in their personal space. Therefore men get more space on the subway. And so it goes.

Let's lighten the mood with a couple of photos from the 99-cent store:

Hey there. Like my Chinese underpants? I'm gonna sit next to you on the subway and hog all the space on the seat. Don't look at my nipples.

He-ey! Do you like my sexy waist-cinching band? It's good for adventures and workouts, and sometimes I just wear it around the house while I twirl my hair. I hate when guys invade my personal space on the subway. Unless they're wearing Chinese underpants. Ooh, baby...