I've been feeling very withdrawn this holiday season. Actually, it's been more like months. It's hard for me to feel comfortable in social situations when I'm unsure of who I am and what I'm doing.
Casual questions like, "So, how are things going?" can throw me for a loop. How are things going? Woah.
I really need to lighten up.
To that end, I thought about Christmas one year ago: Dumpling slaving away at his failing restaurant. Me, pet setting in a filthy apartment, feeling sorry for myself and angry at the world. And no heat at home, either! Oh, Tamara, you do get yourself into some interesting situations. I am so thankful I can laugh now about all the crummy times last year!
This Christmas, things are about a million times better. Dumpling is working at an extremely successful new restaurant in the LES. And tonight I'm at home with my laptop, reading through the messy notes and bursts of inspiration I've typed and hand-written over the last couple of days. I'm not quite ready to share specifics, but it's what I blogged about last time, and it's going to be something cool!
As the bible says:
There is a time to reap;
A time to sow;
A time to party;
And a time to stay home.
Or something like that.
Soon I'll be super excited to go to parties and dinners out and karaoke nights--not only because I'll have something I feel passionate about and want to share with everyone, but because the closer I get to determining and articulating exactly how I want to engage with the world, the more comfortable I feel. More comfortable in my own skin, in my relationships, and in my reaping hat and party pants.
My Christmas wish for everyone: May the expectations of others fly away like the down of a thistle, and may your own visions of sugarplums inspire you to spend your holiday in whatever way pleases you most.
1 comments:
Well said Tamara!
You sound to me as if you've got it covered. ;-)
Post a Comment